Tag Archive: apathy


Dis-Ease

Dis-Ease

Well, we are nearing the end of National Public Health Week, and I feel sick.

It's National Public Health Week!

Between budget wars and foreign wars, between hard-line positions and political posturing, between extreme tea parties and extreme cuts and extreme threats, I think my guts have been twisted in knots. This week, I am here to help find sense and meaning in this twisted environment we find ourselves struggling to survive in.

I’ll start with all of the noxious talk about an extreme tea party.  Regardless of what side of the fence you sit-on, stand-on, or lean-to – all of the press and water cooler pontification must shake your nerves and bring a general feeling of anxiety.  To help with National Public Health problem, take my one-step solution:  Imagine an extreme tea party.  Seriously, Imagine a four-year-old girl in a frilly dress at a pink plastic picnic table gracefully serving her stuffed animals while snowboarding down a mountain before jumping off the cliff. That is an extreme tea party.  From now on, any time you hear the terms tea party, or tea party extremists, just visualize the above picture and relax.

Tea Party

Maybe enjoy a peppermint patty instead…

Extreme Tea Group
Extreme Tea Group

 

The second Public Health issue is the battle over the budget and the seemingly looming Government Shutdown.  I’ve been caught in the middle of a lot of “back and forth”s about the impending shutdown, and the questions it raised has significantly raised my blood-pressure.  First off- how can the Republicans who took office less than four months ago be blamed for not creating a budget that was due more than half a year ago (when the Democrats held the Senate, Congress, and Presidency)?  Secondly, how can the Democrats be blamed for stalling the process when the Republicans are holding things like Planned Parenthood and the EPA as fiscal hostages just for the sake of political posturing and future elections? I’m not sure about you, my back hurts from the “political posturing” I have been forced into– grabbing my ankles so elected officials can maintain appearance tends to wear on the spine.  I personally don’t care who you blame for the mess we are in today, but one thing is certain, no matter what happens I think we might need planned parenthood because at least half of us will get screwed We need leadership and action, not posturing and double-speak and pointed fingers!

Blame
“When elephants fight, it is the grass the suffers.”

 

My home remedy for these two ailments (blood-pressure soaring with deficits and threats and back-pain from “posturing”) is as simple as my first.  Stand-up straight– that’s right, stand-up for yourself and speak your mind to your elected officials.  Letting go of all of your frustrations through expression of them will lower your blood-pressure, whilst standing-up for yourself will help alleviate your back pain.

So at this point we have covered general anxiety, upset stomachs, blood pressure, and back pain.  What else ails you?

Hopefully, nothing because we can’t afford to get sick. (Just read this to learn more about “Affordable Healthcare”.)

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What’s my Motivation?

First and foremost: sorry.  I have been a very neglectful blog-host these last two weeks.  The world was full of pressing issues, and I brought none to press.  I know, I am a disgrace.  I have not had the time, energy, nor motivation to sit-down and write with the same passion and on the burning issues you have come to expect, and I had demanded from myself.

My Formal Apology

(Please check-off as needed.)

I’m just going to take a quick moment (versus a long moment) to fill you in on my current excuses for my failure to keep up this poor excuses for a web-log.

1. I am trying to write a short-story.  I am currently on chapter five and it is looking less and less short.

2. I am trying to help my son with his spelling.  He has been having a little trouble, so I am trying to do the right thing.

3. The boys have been sick the last few days.  Vomit and coughing fits don’t inspire much blogging.

4. My wife, whom I love endlessly, is being a total… forget that one, she reads this…

5. My sleeping patterns have been greatly disturbed, leaving my with a smaller amount of energy to devote to the upkeep of what you are reading.

6. I have taken on a couple of new schemes.  In addition to writing for fun, I am now writing for marketing, for advertising, for cash.  If you need it written and you have money, I am the man to speak with.

7. My mother is having some personal issues, and it is effecting me as far as my energy, time, and ability to concentrate. Don’t ask, because I will not tell.

8. I waste what little time and energy I have to writing a stupid list that deigns to feign being a blog in hopes that my few readers don’t notice I abandoned them.

9. I waste more time trying to stretch the aforementioned 5 thing list into ten, because lists of ten look more official.

10. I have been doing more “research” online via stumble, because with everything that is going on in my personal and professional life, I have been choosing random oddities and obscure trivia to actual writing and reality.

Had enough of my crap excuses?

I promise you, dear reader, that soon (being a general and relative term) I will sit down and write a proper blog in the format and with the issues you have come to expect from this virtual-electronic waste-bin.

 

Schrodinger’s Life

As I stated before, I have put great effort into ignoring the world around me over the last couple of years, but I feel I need to explain myself more clearly.

When I was green in this gray world, and believed all those beautiful things people would say to me, I enjoyed the company of the world and those in it.

I was alive; mentally, spiritually, emotionally.  I could feel the pulse of life and society flowing through my works and words- I truly believed this was a wonderful world filled with fantastic and wild wonders just waiting to be grasped.

As I exited my early teen years I was alive; mentally, spiritually, emotionally, socially, politically.  I knew I was green in a gray world and I knew the delicate upper crust and dreary underbelly of this world.  I stopped paying attention to the hype and saw the hypocrisy.  I noticed the knowledge and elated in the ethics of good Gedanken experiment- but really retained the view of its vacancy in the world.

As the days turned into daze and my life turned to bricks and mortars of knowledge, I was still alive.  I was still green and the world still gray, but I was no longer green in the way of salad, but now in the shade of jade.

I came across the opportunity to work for, and with, a successful politician from the State Senate.  I grasped with both hands, throwing my body into it all, and hopefully heaved my head above the grime of the gray and into the glittering gold of the politics and power.  Or so I thought.  In my misplaced glory, I forgot all that glitters is not gold.   My cynicism returned, and my jaded soul turned black.

That brings me to our title:

I was living (or not) as Schrodinger’s Gedanken Cat.  I turned off- I was simultaneously alive and dead.  I wearily walked through my day to day, from daze to daze.  I left the world of politics and law, I died.  I was dead; mentally, spiritually, emotionally, socially, politically.

Half-heatedly, I was  hoping there was something left to live for- to strive for- a way to change, to be, to feel, to live.

I strove for ignorance, praying for bliss- I accepted apathy so I couldn’t care, wouldn’t war, so I could stop screaming.

Then she came- I was alive emotionally, but still living the life of Schodinger’s Lazarian kitten.

I thank everyday that something again arose in me, or I would be undeniably dead today.  No longer was I able to be inconspicuously isolated, ineptly trudging through the world without thought or passion, she gave me pointed purpose, so I naturally proposed.

Still, I was that damned cat- and I hate cats.

Over the few months, slowly, begrudgingly, I awoke to hear it bouncing around me- the echoes of the world, shouting and screaming, asking me to come out and play.

Deliberately, I diminished my ignorance of the world around me- not seriously surprised the nothing of note had happened in my acute absence. Still, I was still.  Still, I was dead- ignorance abated, but apathy abundant.  I had gathered moss, and in my newly acquired state and service of husbandry, I did not know how to remove myself from my man-made hammock.  I was comfortable, no- I was quietly contented, and desperately desired a prodding, a call to action, and along came my ironically insipid source of inspiration.

Today I feel alive.  I remember what it was like to fight the good fight- to live among the inhabitants of this weary world, to feel the pulse quicken at the sound of hypocrisy and hate disguised as hope, to be alive!

Right now, I am astonished how the misguided musings of a maniacal half-wit hippy could shatter and shake my disdain for the ignorance I harbored for years, back into consciousness- how my inability to understand the unseen and unclean hypocrisies again arose in me the passion for this world I had once felt. Again, I see myself green with the world in the gray of the world, and I haven’t been happier.

Let’s just hope this feeling lasts.

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