Tag Archive: Humor


Hello and good evening everyone out there in web world, it’s time to play another edition of  “What the f**k did that moron say?”  Are you ready?

Seriously, if you don’t know what and whom I’m talking about you are obviously new here, so let me rehash for your benefit:

1.  I live in a small rural town in New Jersey.

2. Things have worked wondrously in this township for several decades.

3. There is a drugged-out moronic hippie who is about as intelligent as a fruit fly and equally as profound.

4. She enjoys hearing herself talk and ignoring the obvious truths.  She also enjoys creating problems where there are none (or were none until she stuck her reprobatish nose into it.)

5. I have taken it to be my job to occasionally listen to the fetid bile that spews from her defecate stained lips, and respond with the obvious truth gained only from her own words (or plain reality.)

Time for a Reality Check!

There, now that we are all on the same page, it is time to begin.  I’m going to ignore several of her imbecilic excuses for writing simply because I don’t feel like wasting that much time on her worthless crap, so instead I will start with the one long post ironically entitled “too annoyed to post“.

As with most of her detestation of thoughts she has put to cyber-paper, this blog is about many different things, but is also about absolutely nothing – kind of like a Seinfeld episode, where everyone outside it knows it is fake but the actors seemingly do not and after you spend time and effort to watch and understand what is going on, it suddenly ends leaving you a little pissed at how crappy it was (boo to the final episode).

Back on her track marks – the aforementioned blog starts as a rant about the community bulletin board (that she protested against) on the field (that she protested against and tried to get the builders arrested) does not have any community news on it.

One would think this is a valid gripe, but you have to realize that she did not want the board, the land it is on, and is currently yelling about having to pay to have the board up and to change it periodically.  WELL WHICH ONE DO YOU WANT!?!?!?!!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?  This is a perfect example of how she can never be happy, that is unless she’s bitchin‘.

She then goes on a diatribe about how the township is kind enough to have a dump day, where residents can bring a pick-up load of junk, free of charge, because she feels discriminated against because she drives a small car and has two children and that’s not fair because most people in our town have a pick-up truck.  Well, anyone else care to point-out the obvious?  Fine, then I will.

Amelia, my dearest dirty ditzy dame, you are not being discriminated against.  I, and all of my friends, also have children.  Some of us have trucks, some of us do not.  In this situation we would babysit each others children and allow our trucks to be borrowed… how this applies to you… If you weren’t such a worthless piece of trash, if you weren’t such an annoying crabby nut case, if you didn’t attack and attempt to have arrested everyone you deal with — well — then you might actually have friends, and these “friends” might do nice things for you.  You see, you aren’t being discriminated against, your just an obnoxious bitch that no one can tolerate.

She then goes on about being able to exchange junk instead.  I might say, I agree with her to a point.  I use and utilize “freecycle”.  That is a group where to post (in your local area) usable junk you want to get rid of and look for stuff someone else considers junk.  This is a great thing.  What she wants is for junk to not be thrown out, but instead thinks it should be left next to the dumpster where several days later (while paying to hold the dumpster) pay more people to clean-up the trash that no one wanted.  She then complains about taxes.  PICK ONE!!!!!

Aside from the aforementioned “freecycle” the other thing we used to do is put our junk outside by our driveways a day before junk day.  People would drive around and cherry pick what they want before you threw it out.   Anyone out there want to guess why we can’t do that anymore?  Anyone care to guess who complained about it looking bad?  About it being a hazard?  Anyone care to venture a guess?  Hmmm?

She ends this post with two quick things; we should dump all of our local political leaders, and she demands to be allowed unrestricted access to the offices in the municipal building, were money and private papers are kept, after closing so she can use the bathroom during times the town allows others to utilize the public part of the building.  Might I add, there are public facilities available on site, but they are not good enough for her.  Might I also add that one of the times she states the town should allow her access to private offices is during movie night.  A night, (as she well knows) that no longer exists because she is a busybody who has an incessant need to stir-up trouble.  Shut-up.

(Super-cool article above!)

The next poorly thought out blog with birthing in the title is surprising to me.  I love literature and I love poetry.  All of the crap she has put on her blog has been just that, crap.  Self-serving, meaningless crap.  The poem on here is an exception.  It was well-written with a beautiful flow and a true grasp of language from the point of the  eye and ear.  Bravo.

Then, of course, she ruins this moment of beauty by not ending it where the poem ended.   She goes off on a tangent about the local government (for those of you who don’t know, she is only talking about five people,) and how we are too dumb to know the difference between what we choose and what has been chosen for us.  I will not allow myself to be offended by a moronic dirty hippie making suppositions about my intelligence.  I believe she has proven what side of the bell-curve she lies on…

Next!

Her most resent blog is aptly entitled “Incredulous”, and I say aptly because her idiotic web-log is incredulous.

Allow me to quote the sad degenerate;  “At the town meeting tonight I was speaking. I said “I can speak.” The Mayor said, “No you can’t. There is a police officer (state police man) behind you and he has a gun.” I said “What? Are you threatening me with a gun for speaking?” And he said “Its a joke”… I have been threatened with a gun by the Mayor… can prove that I was threatened with a gun by the Mayor for talking.”

(Forgive the breaks, if you wish to read it in it’s entirety, simply click the quote and you will be brought to the original posting from whence this came.)

Where to begin…

1. No, you weren’t threatened, he clearly stated it was a joke.

2. No, you weren’t threatened, “there is a police officer (state police man) behind you”.  If you were being threatened, he would have done something about it, especially because he was involved in the threat.

3. No, you weren’t threatened, he never said he would shoot you, he mentioned a separate person, the police officer, had the gun.  Are you, dearest Amelia, saying that the police really will shoot you?  Do you really believe that?  If not, I suggest you shut-up before you sling more mud at the people who serve and protect you every day of their lives, and stop besmirching them in your backwards juvenile way of trying to “get” the mayor.  It was a joke – most likely said in response to your tone.  (Can you, my faithful readers, imagine someone standing-up in a town meeting, being recognized by the committee to speak, looking the mayor in the face, getting the whole community waiting, on baited-breath, for her to speak and she only says, “I can speak.”  Imagine that!  It is either, sad, funny or infuriating depending on the person’s tone and level of mental handicap.  I can understand the mayor thinking she was joking to start!

Yes, Amelia, you and your blog truly are incredulous.

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Casinos, Money, Hippies.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am proudly a resident of a small rural town in New Jersey.  I understand that Jersey has its problems, and over the last decade or so has become more and more of a Nazi-Nanny state that attempts to legislate and micromanage every resident… and that pisses me off.

Nazi Nanny State

Another thing that any reader of my blog would know, is that I can’t help but point-out how stupid and hypocritical a certain drug imbibing unwashed hippie freak is in her sad excuse for a blog story autobiography pharmacological experiment in typeset.  A short list of why this is:

1. She is an idiot.  I hate pseudo-intellectuals that pontificate without reason or knowledge on the subject of their devious diatribes.

2. She is hypocritical.  I hate hypocrites- especially ones that don’t can’t refuse to see it.

3. She publicized and perpetrated lies on her blog, and in person, that were both malicious and unfounded about people I know and respect.

4. She is a dirty hippie.  I hate hippies- wash them then throw them away because they are useless to society.  (Cartman agrees!)

5.  I have been told by others (and for this moment I will assume they were honest) that she is trying to have me arrested for speaking my mind against her mindlessness.  (As far as proof goes– well her friend’s husband is a NJ State Police Officer who used State owned computers and State paid time out of his day to investigate me and my blog as a favor to her– and forwarded a link to my blog to other officers– this I know to be a fact.  I also know this is a misuse of authority, privileged information, public resources and tax money, and this officer deserves to lose his job and forfeit his pension.)

Uh-oh!

Uh-oh!

6. She doesn’t see the irony of calling the state authoritarians to do her bidding after maligning them- and does not see the hypocrisy in trying to have me arrested for doing the same thing she is.

7. Well, this is the true topic of my blog…

I read a neat article from The Chicago Tribune about how the city proposes to make-up their budget shortfall after a near 66% income tax increase.  One idea struck me as fun- a state owned casino.  The city currently doesn’t have a casino and given its known history of early gang and mafia activity, and being a hot-bed of sin and corruption; I find a city owned casino to be a fitting solution to their fiscal problem.

One 71-year old resident who was polled said, “A lot of people like casinos because it is literally a voluntary tax when you lose, and you can’t do better than that.”

I would agree.  But I know someone who wouldn’t….

Our town has a fund-raising casino night.  I have yet to go (small children and no baby sitter make Scott a dull boy,) but I hear it is a smashing good time.

All work and no play

There is no money won or lost in this casino night, just a good time to be had.  The town makes it’s money from the tickets sold.  Because the venue is small and the draw for this night is sizable there are limited tickets, and if you want to go, you must reserve your tickets in advance.  This is where kumba-yucky hippie comes in.

Word has it she reserved six tickets in advance- possibly keeping six other from attending- but like a typical useless liberal hippie doper, when the bill came due and she had to put-up the money- she bailed.   Claimed she couldn’t make it because her drug shipment was running low, so the music was starting to suck, or some other such nonsense, and her friends (for whom she reserved the other tickets for) wouldn’t come because gambling is evil.  Let’s review- no money is won or lost- there is no actually gambling- they won’t go out of principle against the evils of gambling.

Guess they should do more passing and less puffing.

What me? Reason?

For more information- please consult Wikiality for the definition of “Hippies”

Hippies are the aboriginals of the commie world, a less advanced version of liberals.

Hippies are smelly people with poor fashion sense.                                                               

Female hippies are undistinguishable from the males, aside from the vaginas.

Important Information:
Tools for Eliminating Hippies

* Death Metal Music (particularly Slayer)
* American Flag
* Hippie Digger (Like a Bulldozer)
* Jesus
* Adding chemicals to organic foods
* Ted Nugent

I almost forgot:  she can be found on my blog roll and here.

Millions of people have made the analogy between chess and warfare, but few take it seriously.  One man, Kennith Jackson, took it to an extreme.  He was a paranoid and a murderer, but more specifically and to the point he was a chess player who took Master Sun Tzu’s Art of War as a chess player’s guidebook.

For more information on Kennith Jackson’s drug use, psychological disorders, and crimes please read Whipers: The Voices of Paranoia by Dr. Ronald K. Siegel. (It’s a great read!)

As a certified maniac and convicted killer, Mr. Jackson made a lot of nonsense and a lot of sense.   His style of chess play was unmatched in many arenas.  A cursory read of Master Sun’s great work can teach us much about life and how we can live it, and he is also a great springboard- this blog is about the combination of life, war, and chess sans the cocaine delusions.

When playing chess, or watching a game, it is widely agreed that when a player lays down his king, he is resigning- or saying they know that they have been bested.  Also, in many courts, one might see a player pick-up and remove their king from the board, as if to say, “I do not agree with the parameters of this match, and while not admitting defeat, I refuse to play you any longer.”

It is normally seen when the opposing player does not follow the ascribed rules or talks a little too much “smack” at the table, but not to the extent of disqualification.  It may seem silly, or even childish to go “I don’t like you and I don’t wanna play wif you anymore!”  What? Are you waiting for more?  That’s it, no more, no buts.

Smaller children, and smaller minded adults, may go to a further extreme.  Instead of taking their king off the board if they feel cheated or upset may swipe their hands across the whole board knocking down all the pieces, but this could be explained away by stating they were literally trying to wipe the board clean to start again, fresh.

Finally, there are other psychotic delusional people like Mr. Jackson.  They might kill you, or to a much lesser (although equally psychotic) extent do something else unheard of.  One person did.  One fellow blog writer took the opponent’s king off the board.  Picked-off all the opposing pieces off the board, then obstructed the seat so no one else could play, and then (here’s the wacky part,) continued playing the game by herself.

As much as anyone does not like opposition, as much as someone does not like losing, as much as someone does not like to admit that they do not possess the skills, ability, knowledge to come-out on top, as much as someone does not like to admit that the truth, the facts, reality, ect. are not on their side, as much as anyone can hate those things, they are a fact of life and a fact of war and a fact of chess.

Sometimes we all lose.  Sometimes we are outmatched, outwitted, outplayed, or out of luck.  As functioning adults we accept it, learn from it, grow from it.  What we don’t do is clear off only the opposite side of the table and continue to play as if nothing happened, as if there was still a game to play.

When a personal, romantic relationship goes awry sometimes they dump the party (or get dumped) and go on to the next game (tip their king, resign.)

When a personal, romantic relationship goes awry sometimes they feel so cheated they dump the party (or get dumped) and remove themselves from the dating pool and watch “LifeTime Movie Network” (take their king off the board.)

Occasionally, a person will rid themselves of everything to do with their formal flame (while occasionally applying a flame to do so!) Then after some BB&J (Beer, Ben & Jerry’s) go off to the next partner (wiping the whole board).

When a personal, romantic relationship goes awry one does not dump their partner, burn all of their objects, memories, ect, and then continues to go on imaginary dates by themselves going “Oh look hunny, this is our favorite place to eat!” to their right arm.  That person is a delusional, dysfunctional, psychotic and any clinical psychologist worth their weight in bedpans will agree.

That, in essence, is what this person is doing.  On one hand she states it is all about dialogue and discourse, comments and compliments, an exchange of ideas and democracy- but then deletes all comments that don’t fit her needs and locks her blog from public opinion, once she realizes public opinion is she’s a moon bat- nuttier then squirrel turds (while continuing to argue with former commenters and bash them and their beliefs to prove her sanity and righteousness!)

Is there a doctor in the house?

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